My cousin Ana died last week.
It was maybe a few years ago when she was taken to the hospital because she had a tumor in her brain. I’m not really sure whether I have my facts straight anymore but I believe she had brain cancer. The entire family was very concerned during that time because we weren’t sure what was going to happen to her – the doctors said the tumor was quite big and it was in a bad location. She made it out of the hospital and I still got to see her for a couple of family reunions after that. In fact, one of the parties that my family had was set up as kind of a thanksgiving party that Ana had made it out of the hospital.
Anyway, last my week my brother texted me saying that Ana had passed away. I think I couldn’t really, hmm, connect to the fact that she was gone. That is, up until I went to her wake with my mom, my brother Clemence, and my nephews (who are Clemence’s sons) last Saturday after the Superheroes Convention (I’ll post about this later on). Tita Nelia and Tito Chito, her parents, seemed to be very tired (obviously). I looked into Ana’s casket – she looked very peaceful and beautiful – and at this point I think the whole reality struck me. She's a year younger than I am and now she's no longer with us! I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. But I kept things under control because I didn’t want to be the impetus for both Tita Nelia and Tito Chito to become more emotional. They needed strength from the people around them, after all.
She was cremated yesterday, on Halloween, at noon. There was a mass for her in the morning and the cremation would happen at 12nn. I had work to do in the morning so I decided to just take an extended lunch break. When I got there, I ran into my dad who, along with a few other people, was helping Tita Nelia get to the hospital. Apparently, she had collapsed and was now on a wheelchair. I saw her being helped out of Loyola Memorial and words can’t begin to describe the agony and exhaustion that were painted on her face.
There was one upside to this. I saw so many people in my extended family there. I had just missed my mom and Clemence who were there earlier in the morning but so many of my titos, titas, and cousins were there even if it was a workday. It felt great to see the support that my family gives to each other in times of need and difficulty. In fact, my other cousin Charisse was actually celebrating her birthday that day, and despite she was there, crying along with everyone else. By the time the pastor started talking about what was going to happen, I lost it. I think for the entire ceremony I had my handkerchief over my face. They opened the casket for one last viewing and then they proceeded to roll her down to where she would be cremated.
The pastor told us that only immediate family was allowed in the actual cremation area to see Ana before she was actually cremated. But Tita Nelia was in the hospital and that left only Tito Chito there (Ana’s siblings were in the US and both of them were unfortunately unable to come home). So as it turns out, the whole family joined Tito Chito. It must have been the saddest I have felt in a very long time.
This has been the hardest blog post for me to write. And I hope that I don’t have to write anything similar to this anytime soon.
We love you, Ana! And may the Lord bless your beautiful soul.
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