Respect

Recently, an email about an answer supposedly given by Lara Quigaman in the recently concluded Miss International has been making its rounds. It’s a very interesting exchange and I’m copy-pasting it here:

Q: "What do you say to the people of the world who have typecasted Filipinos as nannies?"

A: "I take no offense on being typecasted as a nanny. But i do take offense that the educated people of the world have somehow degenerated the true sense and meaning of what a nanny is. Let me tell you what she is. She is someone who gives more than she takes. She is someone you trust to look after the very people most precious to you - your child, the elderly, yourself. She is the one who has made a living out of caring and loving other people. So to those who have typecasted us as nannies, thank you. It is a testament to the loving and caring culture of the Filipino people. And for that, I am forever proud and grateful of my roots and culture."

It’s a brilliant answer that not only gives a lot of respect to nannies but also uplifts the Filipino identity on a world scale. However, I’ve been told that this email was a hoax, that Lara Quigaman was actually never asked that question during the competition itself. Someone told me that she may have been asked that during an international press conference and not during the Q&A portion of Miss International.

Whatever the truth is about this e-mail, I am very pleased that it is landing in many an inbox. Primarily because it changes the level of respect that nannies (and people belonging to any other similar profession like maids and drivers) normally get.

People working these jobs, at least in this country, not only work very hard with little pay, but they are also looked down upon (sometimes on an unconscious level) by a lot of people with supposedly “more respectable” careers. One of the biggest insults maids and drivers get is how when someone who doesn’t look all that good is said to be ‘mukhang driver’ or ‘mukhang katulong.’ That is a terribly disrespectful comment on two levels. First, it means the recipient of that comment is looked down upon for not looking as good. Second, and immensely more disgraceful, is that it means that and maids and drivers have been made benchmarks of ugliness.

After all, imagine this. Someone was born into a poor family and is unable to go to school. However, since they don’t really have a lot of money, they decide to try and earn a living to help put food on the table. As they didn’t have enough funds for school, they can’t get any of the so-called respectable jobs. So they work as drivers and maids. Then they spend the entire day taking care of your kids while you are away, cleaning your toilet, cooking food over a hot stove, or waiting for you to get out of work and then driving you through two hours of traffic. And remember, they didn’t have enough money to go to school, so what would give us the idea that they would have the money to buy make-up and nice clothes?

Now, as someone who has had to wait a couple of hours in the car for someone I was picking up and then navigate through Edsa traffic during rush hour, I can safely say that by the time you get out of the car, the stress level actually shows on your face and you couldn’t really care less about anything else, least of all how you look. These drivers and maids and nannies all work to serve you and make your life better, not really having enough time to preen themselves. And why would they? If you had to clean a toilet, would you actually want to put on your best dress and look good for the cameras while doing it? I think not.

I find it really sad then that these people work hard to make your life easier, for a meager sum at that, and we think less of them for the way they look. Of course you can argue that you aren’t degrading maids and drivers when you say someone looks like a driver or a maid. But here’s a question for you – would you make that comment when there’s a maid or a driver sitting right next to you?

As such, I think it’s great that the supposed Q&A with Lara Quigaman is being read by an ever-widening audience as it can hopefully change people’s perspective a bit. I know someone who was once mistaken as the person who cleans rooms when he was in another country and he felt extremely offended by that comment. Now he says that, after reading that email, he no longer feels any less when he is mistaken as a housecleaner. One step at a time, I say, to make the world a better place.